a perspective on perspective

We're often told that we shouldn't look back. We're supposed to live for the moment. Look toward the future. Forget about the past. It's dead and gone and there isn't anything you can do about what's already done. I suppose all of that is true enough. However, I was reminded today that there is something to be said for looking over your shoulder; for looking backward; for looking behind you to see what you might have missed the first time.

This afternoon was pretty normal. I went to work, went to class, and came home. I had decided that I was going to try to be productive today instead of sitting on my oh-so-uncomfortable couch and watching 8 hours of TV that would serve no purpose than to ultimately make me a little fatter and lazier. Having made up my mind, I wrote a pretty lengthy to-do list and began diligently trying to check off the said items. Around 5:00 I decided to go out and run a few errands. I went to Tiger Town and then ran by the pharmacy, but by the time my prescription was ready, I got back into my car and realized that it had gotten a little later than I thought. I had to be back at work by the time football practice was over to make sure I caught a couple of the guys on the way out (who I ended up missing, by the way, but that's entirely beside the point). SO. I immediately entered into what I like to call "Mae Margaret Time Stress." This basically means that I start obsessing over everything I have to get done in an extremely short period of time. I pulled out of the parking space, quickly analyzed the fastest way to get home from the pharmacy (for those of you non-Auburn folks, there are a million ways to get from one place to another in Auburn, and sometimes choosing the quickest route proves harder than you'd think), and sped off down the road. My mind was swarming with thoughts of exactly what to do when I got home. It went something like "take the bags inside, no wait, they could stay. Well why wait? You have time. No, maybe leave them and just run in and grab some food really quick, you might be at practice awhile. Well, I could take them inside and then drive thru somewhere and get food and take it with me. Or I guess I could eat later. I'm going to get really hungry though if this takes longer than I'm thinking." You get the idea.

Before I knew it, I was at my apartment wondering if I ran any stop signs or red lights on my way home, as I didn't really remember anything about the trip except for the argument with myself. I jumped out, having decided on taking everything inside, and hastily made my way in the house to throw everything down and dash back out the door again. I headed for Zaxby's, figuring a salad would be quick, easy, semi-healthy, and cheap. I pulled in line at the drive-thru, ordered, paid, grabbed my food and continued on toward the Complex. As I was about to turn onto Donahue from College, I glanced in my rear-view mirror and what I saw made me do a double-take. I glanced back, wondering if a light had just caught my eye in a weird way. Nope. I was right the first time.

The sky behind me looked like a watercolor painting. It was pink and orange and yellow, mixed with a little blue and it looked like someone had taken a big bucket and splashed color on the sky. I looked back in front of me, but all I saw then was black. I turned my attention back to the "painting" and couldn't believe the same night sky could look so different in two places at once. And the "painting" was behind me, out of my direct line of sight, and about to disappear for good. Yet, something in it caught my attention.

As the sun went all the way down on the Plains and the Fall air became a little cooler, I started to wonder if looking behind me was really all that bad. Maybe there's something to be said for appreciating the past and what it will offer for the future. After all, I'd venture to guess that tomorrow's sunrise might look just as wonderful.

I think Tom Petty got it right

There's a pretty famous quote from Tom Petty that says:

"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does."

Tonight, I took his advice.

I'm a notorious procrastinator when it comes to schoolwork. I wait to do everything until the last possible second, and every time I say to myself "If I would just start on this earlier, I'd be better off." You'd think I would've learned by now, but you'd be wrong.

The paper due for my World Lit II class in less than 13 hours has been no different. I've known about the paper since the beginning of the semester and the topics have been posted for about 2-3 weeks now. Naturally, I waited until this past week to even look at the topics, then bs'd my way through the mandatory student-professor conference to discuss my paper, and now I'm sitting here writing this blog at 1 a.m. instead of writing the paper. So what's the point?

Well I spent most of the day today at work. Most of the time my priorities are really messed up and I feel like my job (which I absolutely love) is my number one responsibility when I know that I really should focus on school first. That said, I worked a volleyball match today at 1 and then left and went straight to soccer where I stood for a good 2 hours in the rain and watched as our team desperately fought to find a way to win and then sadly lost in the final minutes. I returned home soaking wet, really cold, and not at all ready to write a paper. After placing an order with Pizza Hut, I stood in a steaming hot shower for about 15 minutes and slowly climbed out to towel off and face, what I thought at the time was, the inevitable. Alas, it was not so. I went in the living room to find that a Law & Order: SVU marathon was on. I knew this meant trouble. It was approximately 7:00. Next thing I knew, it was 10:00 and I'd been watching Elliot and Olivia catch the bad guys for a little over three hours. My roommates both had tests to study for as well, and were equally convinced that as soon as the marathon was over we were all going to go about our business and get our acts together and study. As "Executive Producer: Dick Wolf" scrolled across the screen to the sounds of the closing "Duh duh duh duh dummmmm..." no one moved. We all looked at each other as if to say "Do we have to?" the way a five-year-old does when his mom tells him it's time for bed. Laura finally broke the silence and seemingly-jokingly asked "So what's on next?" We laughed, but I had happened to see that The Bourne Ultimatum was about to start so I piped up. Laura's next words were "So who wants to watch this and then pull an all-nighter?"

Three hands went up in the air, popcorn was made, and we retired back to our most-uncomfortable couch for another few hours of laziness.

Now, I realize this all seems pretty innocent. It isn't scandalous or thrilling, and nothing about it is original or revolutionary. But then I think back to Tom Petty's quote.

I just spent about six hours with two of my best friends. We laughed at each other's corny jokes, we talked about how hot Matt Damon was, about the weather this week, about how much we didn't want to study. It was relaxing, it was fun, and it was care-free. And for every minute that I spend worrying about school or work or how I'm going to balance the two, I need at least five minutes of fun, relaxing, and care-free time to remind me that there are more important things in life.

So yes, I'm going to be up pretty late tonight. And no, this probably won't be the best paper I've ever written. But as cheesy as it might be, five years from now I won't be able to tell you what this paper was about, but I'll damn sure be able to tell you about how much fun I had with my best friends watching TV and laughing and enjoying each other's company. And at the end of the day, isn't that what we really want to remember anyway?