If it makes you happy...

...it can't be that bad. If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?...

I'm beginning to notice a common thread in all of my blogs...they all start out with song lyrics. This really wasn't at all intentional, but I guess it just sort of happened that way.

However, this entry's lyrics are brought to you courtesy of Sheryl Crow and "It It Makes You Happy." I've always found the chorus of that song to be very interesting.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, but I've decided that happiness is an extremely difficult subject to tackle. And I think Sheryl might have a point. Often times, I find that the things that make us happy are the same things that serve as points of contention, frustration, anger, and downright hurt. You can love someone with every single piece of your heart, and never feel it in return. The action of loving someone makes you happy. You find joy in seeing them, excitement from their smile, etc...but if you don't feel it in return, just how happy are you? "If it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad?" Does that mean that we should avoid trying to be happy in the first place if we know it isn't going to end well? Does the fear of the happiness causing eventual pain prevent us from striving for happiness at all?

I don't think so. Another favorite quote of mine is "Never regret anything because at one point in time it was exactly what you wanted." The thing you wanted the most at one point might eventually break your heart...the boy that doesn't love you back, the seemingly amazing job that turns it's back on you and lays you off, the husband or wife who betrays your fidelity and trust. However, I still find that quote to be most certainly true. I try to treat every experience with a certain amount of respect, knowing that some kind of wisdom can always be gained, whether or not the eventual outcome is what I wanted it to be. I recently heard this line on Grey's Anatomy and was struck, not only by the poignancy of it, but the accuracy..."Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful but they're the only way to find out who you really are." I think the same goes for happiness. Sometimes we have to make a big mistake to figure out what really makes us happy. And the mistakes we make throughout our journies are definitely painful, but at some point along the way, we couldn't have been happier.

I am also reminded of the great Henry Miller and his famous quote on life...I think it ties right into happiness, too...
"Life moves on whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such."

So we look to the future, hoping for the best and sometimes expecting the worst, trying to ease the pain of eventual disappointment. But how much happier we would all be if we lived as the beautiful Grace Kelly instructed..."One shouldn't talk about the future. It's the best way to mess it up."